8 Reasons to Spend Christmas at Sea

I’ve been on Royal Caribbean’s Legend of the Seas for the past 2 weeks, sailing down the coast of Mexico and  Costa Rica and through the Panama Canal to Aruba and ending in Ft. Lauderdale.  This is my third Christmas Cruise, and I’d recommend it to anyone who is looking for an alternative to the traditional family at home celebration.

First, it’s festive.  The ships decorate and have special music and shows . . . so you don’t have to.  I’m 54, have no kids and am gay as a goose.  My parents are dead and so is my brother – at least to me.  A Christmas Cruise is a great way for me to enjoy the season without having to get immersed in it or without feeling bad because I don’t have a grandma’s house to go to.

Also, the celebration of Christmas at sea comes . . . and it goes.  It’s rapid, usually starting in earnest on Christmas Eve and being over with on the 26^th.  You are not pursued by endless Christmas Demons from before Halloween to MLKing day.  It’s done . . . and then it’s done. 

Second, at this time of the year, there are always a few extended cruises:  10 days or more.  So the ships are full of elderly retirees (who, in truth, can be a pain in the ass) and successful young people.  Rarely are there kids.  We were in Aruba the other day and the Royal Caribbean Adventure of the Seas was docked behind us.  It’s a monster ship:  probably a third bigger than the Legend.  It was on a seven day Caribbean itinerary . . . and to illustrate my point about the lack of kids on the longer cruises, the Adventure had 900 children aboard and the crew was insane with the noise and chaos. So, if you pick a longer cruise, you can usually avoid a hoard of children. 

Third, it’s a great time to cruise because you get lots of time to reflect on the year past and think about the year to come. Rather spending the season dashing from mall to mall and party to party, never finding enough time for anything and entering the new year exhausted, you can take a couple of weeks at sea, out of touch, unable to call home, relaxed and reflective and ready for the challenges soon to come.

Fourth, you can come home with a tan.  Most December cruise itineraries are tropical with lots of time for pooling it and going to the port beaches.  You can go back to work  the tan and lovely envy of your friends.  Even on my South American holiday adventure, where we watched Chilean Glaciers calve while the snow fell, I came home tan.  That’s because the cruise ended in Rio and a couple of days on Ipanema Beach will color anybody.

Fifth, there’s plenty of food and some of it’s pretty good.  I know, you still hear people raving about cruise food, about how fabulous it is in quality, flavor and presentation.  But reality is that the mainstream lines have all cut back a bit on food.  It’s still good, and there’s usually a few nights in the formal dining room that are memorable.  But by and large, it’s just food.  The buffet is a predictable assortment of steam tables and overcooked meats.  The pizza and burgers are not threat to Burger King and Pizza Hut.  (One of the funny things that happened on this cruise was on the Caribbean side of the Panama Canal.  We stopped at Cristobal for a few hours to shop at a fake Panamanian Bazaar set up in a dockside warehouse.  I spent the time drinking Panamanian beer in a palapa constructed on warehouse concrete and under the roof.  Right next to me, a dozen crew members sat at tables and woofed down Pizza Hut Pizza.  It was a real treat for them). 

The good news about ship food is:  you don’t have to do anything but show up and chew.  No preparation, no cleanup.  It’s nice to pamper yourself like that. 

Sixth, you meet the nicest people.  Really:  every cruise I’ve ever taken resulted in friendships I’ll keep forever.  This was especially true on the Legend.  Although it was a regular family cruise – not an RSVP or Atlantis – I discovered a dozen other gay guys by day two and we had a fantastic time playing and touring and getting to know each other for the two weeks.  The other cruisers, with few exceptions, were at least tolerant of us and usually welcoming.  We danced together in the Disco, we embraced and kissed on the decks, we got as silly and at times as nelly as we could and nobody cared.  One of the highlights for me came when R & K volunteered to take part in the after dinner version of the Newlywed Game.  They sat on stage in front of 500 other guests telling silly secrets about one another with two straight couples.  They even shared a kiss up there.  It was wonderful.

Seventh, it doesn’t have to be a cruise that excludes your family.  This ship had many family groups traveling together.  Lots of parents with their teenage and older kids, and lots of  bigger family groups.  One family from Mexico City had 17 on board.  Lots of the cruise lines base their pricing on double occupancy and having a third person staying in your cabin is often at a greatly reduced rate.  Usually, however, we had the parents in one cabin and the kids stacked up in interior cabins on the lower levels.  That was fine. 

And eighth,  breaking up with your spouse on the third day of a fourteen day cruise is a good way to test your resolve and be sure you are correct.  The ship is big enough that you don't have to see each other unless you want to and there are lots of opportunities for observing behavior from afar.  Ah!  can you tell?  I have lots to tell about this cruise.  And I will do that as soon as I get the bags unpacked, the clothes washed, my desk cleared, my phone calls and emails caught up.