The Best Casino is in . . . Missouri?

I had to run out to the airport today to exchange my rental car for something that was a tad more comfortable.  I remembered seeing this big casino on the Missouri River when I was out that way on Friday, so I decided to go a few extra exits and give it a whirl. 

The place is called Ameristar and it's (gulp) gorgeous.  You drive up to it over a bridge lined with Victorian street lamps.  Victorian, that's the word for the place.  It's all curlicues and twinkle lights.  Actually, it used to be located in a riverboat but moved into this giant impressive place about 2 years ago, and the building manages to have that riverboat feel. 

Walking in the front entrance you come face to face with an amazing fountain, kind of a mini- Bellaggio thing.  Oh, that's too grandiose.  This is a mere puddle by camparison to that venerable Vegas landmark.  But what it does is extraordinary.  They have the water cannons that blast huge hunks of water up to the ceiling, but most of the action comes from a number of strong stream shooters around the rim of the thing.  You know how the shooting water is at Disney World?  Well, it's the same kind of thing except that he blasts are replaced by continuous strong curved streams.  Beneath the nozzles are fiberoptic lights that project up and through the water, curving when the water curves.  They play with the light by having one stream intersect another and the collision allows the light to escape in brilliant colors.  I know:  it's hard to visualize.  But it is quite wonderful.  The securit guard standing there told me it cost $1.3 million to build. 

Past the fountain there is a long open center walkway through a collection of restaurants and bars.  There's a diner, a sports bar, a blues club, an oyster bar, a glitzy steak house, a glamorous bar and a buffet.  The walkway is made up to look like an old city street, but there is a domed glass over the top. 

Hey, you know what's weird?? I was waxing poetic about Dave Mason a week ago or so . . . about how his album 'Alone Together' might be the greatest rock album of all time? Remember?    Well guess who's playing at the Ameristar's Bottle Neck Blues Cafe next week?  Yup.  Dave Mason.  Bitchen, huh?

The casino itself is huge.  It reminded me a bit of the Paris in Vegas -- the same kind of classy ambiance.  To get in you have to get a club card.  It's free, but is required because the State of Missouri requires that you take an hour or two out from gambling after you've lost a total of $400.  The card is how the casino tracks your activity and enforces compliance. 

There are stacks and stacks of slots of every variety, a very popular poker room and all the usual table games:  roulette, Pai Gao and Blackjack.  Of course, I play Blackjack.  After all, gambling is not about winning.  It's about losing slowly and if you play Blackjack by the book, you ten to lose slowly.  For instance, today I took $200 to play with.  Five hours later I still had $100.  $20 an hour to play cards and enjoy the comeraderie of other players and attitude free dealers is pretty good. 

I guess that's what really makes a good casino:  people having a good time, dealers laughing and helping out when necessary.  I hate places where it's so deadly serious and the dealers are flat affect robots.  I mean, it's supposed to be fun, isn't it?  I know the game pretty well.  I know what the book says about when to hit and when to hold and when to split and so on.  But I still ask the dealer every once in awhile whether I should hit.  If I get any attitude or avoidance, I take my chips and leave.  It never happened at Ameristar.  In fact, a couple of the dealers even asked less experienced players 'Are you sure you want to do that?' when they made a particularly bonehead decision. 

My favorite dealier tonight was Shane.  He was dealing for his fourth day.  By that, I mean he'd been a dealer for only four days.  But he was cool and calm, smooth and accurate.  Best of all, he laid the cards out slowly and carefully allowing lots of time to consider what your play would be. 

I lost my first hundred fairly quickly.  I decided to take a break and hit the buffet.  It wouldn't open for another hour, though, so I took $20 and went to the nickle video poker machines.  On my second hand I won 400 nickles.  In other words, I doubled my $20.  I continued to play for the hour until the buffet opened. 

I was surprised at the line when I went out there.  It was very long.  Ended up taking about 40 minutes to get to the register, to pay and get seated.  But it was worth the wait.  This was the Sunday Steak and Shrimp buffet, which is $14.99 -- and it was excellent.  I kept going back trying this and that and finally head to the Blackjack tables where I did much better. 

So if you ever toss the dart of your vacation at the map and hit a spot somewhere near the absolute center of the country, don't dismay.  Go on to St. Louis -- enjoy the arch and the city but make sure you stop by the Ameristar Casino.  It's a gas.